Creative, Story Telling Wedding Photography in Calgary Alberta

This one’s for the grooms

This one’s for the grooms so ladies listen up, you’re going to have to tell them to read this. The simple fact is this is the bride’s day and us grooms are there mostly for support. But some of us neglect that and take the hands off approach, this never works well! The following ten tips for the groom will help you be involved on your terms and even enjoy it.

1) You have an opinion let’s hear it. We’re not talking about the usual rant about politics and taxes. This is going to be your day also so express your opinions. There are a lot of decisions that have to be made for the day and you can help here. Music, food choices, photography are some areas where you can put in your two cents. You can steer clear of the lilies or roses debates and the bridesmaid’s bouquets, still maintaining your manhood.

2) Let’s talk about the registry, picking out china and the like not your thing? Maybe you need to look at in a different way.  You get to go to the store and choose things you want that someone else will buy for you! Tools may not be the best choice. How about a cappuccino machine or stainless steel BBQ tools? If you think about it you can come up with some ideas. This is helping, really you’re taking some of the responsibility of your bride to be. You may even be able to convince a group of your friends to collaborate and buy you that new plasma you have had your eyes on!

3) Don’t be uninvolved and don’t be a pushover. You don’t want to feel like a fool in baby blue just because she thought it would go well with the flowers. If you don’t have any input you could end up with flowers and or rose coloured bedding that you will want to hide when the buddies come over. Step up or take what you get, like a man!

4) Wedding planning is stressful, your bride to be is likely to need a break once in a while. You don’t want her to develop an ulcer or worse a grudge before she walks down the aisle.  Cook her dinner, or take her out for dinner. Take her to the movies or rent her that new chick flick she has wanted to see. Yes chick flick, you need to remind her why she is going through all this stress in the first place. Have some fun together, relax and remember why you got engaged in the first place.

5) Be a buffer, if your mother is calling too often, you can avoid the family feud if you act as a buffer. It is likely to cause less stress on the relationship if you kindly tell your mother to back off. Let her know that you appreciate her excitement and input but it is your wedding and you need to fly from the nest yourselves. You get to keep the peace and live in it, a win win situation.

6) You may need professional help. If your bride to be hits the wall you may need to hire a professional wedding planner to take the reins. Don’t think about the cost think about the value, your bride won’t be needing that straight jacket on your honeymoon.

7) Listen, be supportive but avoid family bashing! If your bride to be is lambasting her mother’s meddling ways DON’T take this opportunity to add your insults onto fire! This will only open up a proverbial Pandora’s Box, something you want to avoid. This is one place where cost outweighs value. Although you might value expressing yourself the cost in one you cannot bear. Listen, nod, hug and shut up!

8 ) Manage your men. You choose your men of honour for their honour right? These are your friends and you know them. If the best man has your back but loses his keys at least once a night then making him solely responsible for the rings may not be the best idea. Know their weaknesses and how that my affect the day then manage them. If they’re always late then have them be a ½ hr early etc. This will relieve both you and your bride to be of stress.

9) Manage you men’s attire. Make the fittings pick up etc, clear and simple. Make all the arrangements yourself and send clear concise emails to all the parties’ even the sales person at the formal shop. Give as much detail as you can include fitting times, directions to the shop etc. Make sure to remind the boys to return their rentals the day after so as to avoid late charges.  CC your bride to be, this way you accomplish two things. You show her you are taking responsibility and you add accountability to your groomsmen because she now knows what they have been told!

10) The wedding day.  Make sure you let the bride to be knows you are thinking of her. Get her a little gift something only you would get for her. Nothing big just something that will make her smile. Get a bit sentimental here, write her a note that lets her know you cannot wait to spend the rest of your life with her and how stunning she is going to look today. If you get a little choked up writing it your on the right track.

This is good relationship advice not just wedding day advice, I follow these rules and have been happily married for 14 years and together for 20. Got some more advice we would love to hear it.

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